Ballade
Adapted from French poetry, the ballade is characterized by a refrain ending each stanza, and by making do with few rhymes. The most common version has three stanzas rhyming ababbcbc (the same three ending sounds used in all three stanzas), followed by an envoy rhyming bcbc. Other versions extend the stanza (most often to 10 lines) and/or add stanzas. Traditionally, the envoy is addressed to a prince, sometimes assumed to be the devil.
G.K. Chesterton (1874-1936) is the most well-known writer of comic ballades in English.
by G.K. Chesterton
Come, let us sit upon the grass
And tell sad tales of human ill
How Bacon was a silly man
Who caught a Chicken and a Chill;
And Charles the First, who made his will
But managed to mislay his head;
And Brown, who read the works of Mill,
Who is unfortunately dead.
Queen Bess, who swore upon the Mass
How many Catholics she'd kill;
Our glorious Marlborough, who, alas!
Could not be trusted near the till;
Chatham, who'd set the world a-thrill
And quite abruptly go to bed;
And Tims, who took the "Deathless" Pill,
Who is unfortunately dead.
Tales cling but fade, and falls the glass
That Rosamunda failed to spill;
Faint rails the fragrance of the Lass
Along the tiles of Richmond Hill:
But Genesis is printed still,
And Homer's verses still are read--
A writer of no little skill
Who is unfortunately dead.
Envoi
Prince, pearls and diamonds, take your fill;
Don't mind if they are splashed with red:
I got them from my poor Aunt Jill,
Who is unfortunately dead.
Ballade of Indignation
by Gail White
I'm driving through New Mexico, let's say,
facing the glories of the setting sun.
But just before I get to Santa Fe
there you are, stranger, with your ganglion
sized brain and SUV that weighs a ton,
paying no mind to sunset's golden crown,
but nitter-nattering ninety-nine to one...
so would you kindly put your cell phone down?
I'm dining out, which is the perfect way
to make the brain cells sing in unison,
relaxing with my Merlot and filet,
when there you are with that damn cell phone on
your ear, discussing how some game's been won
and whether stocks are up or upside-down.
You're sharing all your life with everyone,
so would you kindly put your cell phone down?
Haven't you noticed it's a lovely day?
The kind that makes you want to jump and run?
But even jogging you can't throw away
that cell phone, can you? Why, you've just begun
to give your boss a sales plan that will stun
competitors and make your rivals drown.
Look out, you fool, you're running down a nun,
so would you kindly put your cell phone down?
L'Envoi
Friend, I'm no longer saying this for fun.
Road rage has made me rampage through the town.
I'm out of Prozac and I have a gun.
So would you kindly put your cell phone down?
"A Ballade of Dead Men" from Collected
Nonsense and Light Verse by G.K. Chesterton,
selected and arranged by
Marie Smith;
"Ballade of Indignation" © 2001 Gail White, from Light
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